Running with the wolves

Once upon a time I was a little lamb, gave my heart and my sins to Jesus and became part of His fold. I was so relieved and I loved my dear Shepherd. I always wanted to be near Him.

After a while, I began hearing rumors, rumors about keeping clean, being good, staying out of trouble or He couldn't love you anymore. He wouldn't let you be by His side anymore until you got cleaned up.

There were so many things I had to do, because this was a destiny I couldn't bear to think about. I got so busy, worked very hard, and the harder I tried, the further away from His side I wandered. I failed over and over-became so discouraged. I felt so different from the rest, because I was struggling with what seemed to come so easily to the other lambs. I will never fit in-it's useless. I couldn't stay in the fold anymore, because I was hopeless. And besides, there is "no rest for the wicked" the other lambs would say.

So I left, wandered off and decided to run with the wolves, they didn't seem to know anything about all this good and bad stuff, sin, rules to follow. I decided this is where a lamb like me belongs. I tried so hard to put the Shepherd out of my mind. I was sure I could become a wolf, adapt to their wild ways, but I could never forget, never ignore it for long. I came to know in my deepest heart that I could never be a wolf, never forget I was a lamb who wandered to far from home. I made a decision to leave the pack. I would never belong there, but how do I find my way back? And will they let me back in when I stand at the gate?I know the other sheep will tell me to go away. I will stand and bleat and bleat with my little broken lamb's heart until He comes.

For now, I stand alone. The wolves come at night and howl outside my door, calling me to come and run, but now I know, now I can see. They just want something to devour.