What can I do with all these broken pieces of my life?
Most, if not all of them are as a result of my sin and rebellion. I want to hate myself, hurt myself, punish myself somehow for being such a bad person, for making decisions that will bring hurt to my children for the rest of their lives. I don't blame him for finding someone else. I have been very selfish. What does a person do with this knowledge? How can I change? How could I ever make amends? It is so hard to face the kind of person I have become. How do people go on when their own sin has brought such devastation? How can I ever lift my head again?I don't understand anymore about what it means to lay things at the foot of the cross. Why can't I understand it?
8 comments:
don't hate yourself, and don't even think about hurting or punishing yourself. please? e-mail or call one of us separately, OK?
Jan, your heart is true and good and you've been ransomed by One who wants nothing more than to love you through this. if you've placed your sin at the foot of the cross, try your hardest to leave it there. don't keep going back for it, because it's done.
Satan will do a job on you by harrassing you with guilt and shame, which is one of his specialties.
most if not all of the reason you and I can't accept grace is because it makes no sense, really.. and Satan wants us to buy into that lie too..that it's too good to be true.
everything will take time, just like any healing. hang in there with us, OK? it's a messy, messy thing, but we're not going anywhere.
Yeah read and reread Jeff's (soigo) advice....especially about Grace not making any sense...it just don't....But IT IS real. email me for my phone number I am home tonite and would love to get to know you and walk with you through this...YOU are NOT ALONE and oh yeah it will be messy but again you are NOT ALONE....bkenealy@liberty.k12.mo.us
I agree totally. You are not alone. There are women out there facing the same situation as you. Be it better or worse, they are learning to grow with certain changes in life as you. I once heard this saying when one met with any hurdle in life:
1)Face the fact 2)Accept the fact 3)Solve it 4)Let go totally.
It's normally easier said than done. But one gotta do it still, as he'e e only person who can really help himself stand high again.
At times it's not the decisions of parents that hurt their children. Everything occurs for a reason at that point of time. Parents always do things that meant well for their kids in whatever circumstances. They are also learning to be a good parent, concurrently with their kids growing to be a sensible adult. They are human too; human make mistakes. It's alright to make mistakes as it's a great stepping stone to the next level.
I don't have a happy family thou we are staying together. Sometimes I wish they could be separated rather than living under e same roof, tolerating each other daily. We children have to suffer with them. We'll need to face n empathise their despondency. And I feel bad seeing them living with such a life. Thus, I'll try my best to cheer them whenever I could, thou it's not forever or truly from their heart, but as long as they feel happy for a minute, I'll be contented. I don't need them to make amendments. It might be my karma n I'm learning to accept those unexpected happenings ard me. I really hope they can focus on things they enjoy doing n be cheery. That's the least I expect from my parents.
It takes time to understand laying things at the foot of the cross...I don't know if any of us ever get there, I haven't, but bit by bit we can start.
I have so much to say to you but my eyes are burning tired. I will write you in the morning.
Everyone here cares about you and these comments are awesome (I have to read them again later).
For now...your children are going to be fine. I do know what you mean though. I feel that way sometimes because I deprived my son of knowing his father. BUT, God loves your kids even more than you do (hard to imagine but true). You will come out of the other side of this hard time.
If ANY thought comes into your mind that is negative ask yourself "Would Jesus say this to me?". If not, don't listen. Listen to us right now - that's what brothers and sisters are for, to hold your hand on the journey.
I mean listen to God too of course...you know what I mean!
More later...your are so in my prayers, girl!
What can I do with all these broken pieces of my life?
Maybe YOU can't do anything...I woke up in the nite thinking about your question....what if you know...what IF You can't do anything and all this is to grow Your faith and HE will??? Can you live with that? praying for you becky
Thank you all. Thank you for caring about my family and me. When I'm very still, I can feel it in my bones. I can feel myself being upheld.And every reminder of truth points me back in the right direction.
Maybe one of these days, you'll find out that I actually have a sense of humor and can tell some damn good stories about the antics of 5 very boyly boys.
In reply to your last comment....believe it or not we do see that......and much more. in Christ becy
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