Monday, November 21, 2005

Still playing

My sister K prayed for me on the phone the other night(as she has so often lately). It was powerful and loving and fierce. K was always the stubborn one and thank God for it. She has become an amazing warrior who perserveres when others falter. She blazes with the Lord's fury against the enemies of those He loves. The next day she had some others at her church interceding with her on behalf of my children and me. And my sister E prayed. And then all of you have prayed.

I am stunned by such love. I feel it like arms around me. Yesterday started off so badly, but as the day went on I began to feel a calm come, not over me, but spreading through me. I actually questioned myself, wondering if I had taken a pain pill or something. Dear Lord, Help me to receive such love.

Last night, I took my boys to see Harry Potter. At the end, Dumbledore said something to Harry that went right to my heart. I can't remember the exact words but, he was warning Harry that hard times were ahead-that soon they would have "to choose between what was right and what was easy" and then reminded him that he would not be alone.

I sat there and cried. I did do the right thing. Separating from Steve was the right thing, and the pain, the hardships as a result of doing it, I will not have to face alone.

Thank you all for your ministry of love.

6 comments:

lori said...

oh, i totally relate to that struggle between 'doing what is right or doing what is easy'...

i'm soooo glad you're feeling better. hang in!

~pen~ said...

thank God :)

you still have my number and i would love for you to use it. you are so not alone, not even for a second.

penni

Bar L. said...

Oh man! Doing what is right vs. easy can be so painful and difficult...but you are doing it! I am so glad you are feeling peace today. It's sometimes hard to receive love, I know I struggle and say to myself "why would these people even care about me" then I realize that's not God talking! He sent the people to love me, it's the freakin enemy trying to take away what God has given. There are some very loving people in the world.

You've got my number too!!!

Hope said...

So glad to hear things have eased. Reaching out for help when one is in the pit is really hard. You are more courageous than you realize. You have reminded me that I must reach out instead of isolate. God bless you for reaching out.

so i go said...

as far as we're concerned you don't have to go this alone, ever again.

i'll keep praying Jan.. He is so true and faithful to pull you through this..

peace, friend.

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